Justin Bieber, Noted Author

16-year-old Justin Bieber barely learned his ABC's last month, but he's still going to sit down at the little table in the classroom and write his riveting memoirs using big crayons and construction paper.

The Lesbeaver's illustrated autobiography titled Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story (aka The Double Colon Book) will come out this October. Don't expect full chapters on the moment Justin learned that poop floats in the water sometimes. No, Justin has a mind and he's not afraid to use it. Here's a few examples of how deep Justin gets:

"It's kind of hard to balance school and work sometimes. But sometimes, like, if I'm going to the White House and I'm in there doing a tour and stuff, that's like school."

"I'm just a regular 16 year old kid. I make good grilled cheese and I like girls."

“People write to me and say, ‘I’m giving up, you’re not talking to me.’ I just write them a simple message like, ‘Never give up,’ you know? And it changes their life.”

Okay, okay, Justin's autobiography is basically going to be like flipping through your friend's "My Baby's First Time" book.